Relationships are a fundamental part of our lives, and they can be both rewarding and challenging. Whether it’s a romantic connection or a close friendship, being in a relationship requires effort and commitment from both parties. And as much as relationships can bring joy, they can also bring up old patterns of behavior and trigger deep-seated fears and issues.
That’s why it’s essential to be aware of the dos and don’ts of relationships. To help you build stronger connections with the people in your life, we’ve put together a list of seven things you should never say to your partner. Read on to find out what they are and how you can approach these situations in a more positive and effective way.
1. “You Always Do That”
The use of extreme words like “always” and “never” is a big no-no in relationships. These words are absolute and often lead to arguments. For example, if you say something like, “You never help out at home, ever!” you’re likely to trigger a fight.
Instead of using such extreme language, try to approach the situation in a more constructive way. For instance, you could say, “If you could help me clean up a bit more often, I would really appreciate it.” This approach is less confrontational and more likely to lead to a productive conversation.
2. Negative Comments About Appearance
It should go without saying, but it’s essential to avoid making negative comments about your partner’s appearance. Doing so can be hurtful and damaging to their self-esteem, especially if they are already sensitive about their looks.
If you’re feeling upset, try to keep the focus on the behavior that’s bothering you, rather than making offhanded comments about their appearance. By doing so, you’ll keep the conversation on track and avoid hurting their feelings.
3. Threatening Divorce or Breaking Up
Threatening divorce or breaking up during an argument is toxic and can erode the trust and foundation of your relationship. When you make these types of threats, you’re not only weakening the bond between you and your partner, but you’re also planting seeds of doubt about the future of your relationship.
If you’re feeling frustrated or upset, it’s better to take a step back and give yourself time to calm down. Then, when you’re feeling more level-headed, have a constructive conversation with your partner about what’s bothering you.
4. Blaming Your Partner
Blaming your partner is a surefire way to escalate an argument and put them on the defensive. When you point fingers, you’re not taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, which can make it hard for your partner to feel heard and understood.
Instead of blaming your partner, try to focus on how you’re feeling and what you need from the relationship. For example, you could say, “I feel upset because I need more support from you.” This approach is more straightforward and less confrontational, making it more likely to lead to a productive conversation.
5. Insulting Your Partner
Insulting your partner, whether it’s in the heat of the moment or during a calm conversation, is one of the most damaging things you can do to a relationship. It can cause deep emotional wounds that are difficult to heal and can also erode trust, respect and the bond between you and your partner. When you insult your partner, you are essentially belittling and diminishing them, which can cause feelings of inadequacy, shame, and insecurity.
It’s important to remember that even if the insult is said in jest, it can still have a negative impact on the relationship. Words are powerful, and once they are said, they cannot be taken back. It’s also important to be mindful of the tone you use when speaking to your partner. A harsh, critical or sarcastic tone can convey disrespect and hurt even when the words themselves are not insulting.
It’s much more productive to address issues in a non-confrontational and respectful manner. When you and your partner have a disagreement, try to use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs, rather than blaming or attacking your partner. For example, instead of saying “You always do this”, try saying “I feel frustrated when this happens”. This approach allows you to express your feelings and needs while avoiding the use of insults or blame.
6. Making Threats or ultimatums
Making threats or ultimatums, such as “if you don’t do this, I’ll leave you” or “if you don’t change, I’ll divorce you” can make your partner feel helpless, scared, and trapped. These kinds of tactics can escalate a conflict and damage your relationship.
7. Withholding affection or intimacy
Withholding affection or intimacy as a form of punishment or as a way to express disapproval can be damaging to a relationship. This can create feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and frustration in your partner. It’s important to communicate your needs and feelings in a healthy and respectful way.
In conclusion, healthy communication is crucial for the success of any relationship. It is important to remember that communication involves not just speaking, but also listening and understanding your partner’s perspective. Avoiding certain behaviors, such as name-calling, blaming, and interrupting, can help maintain a positive and respectful atmosphere during conversations. By making an effort to communicate effectively, couples can strengthen their relationship, resolve conflicts, and build a deeper understanding of one another.